Monday, April 6, 2009

A letter to my Young Self, a letter of Love and Appreciation

Dear young Peter,

I want you to know that your elder self (or brother if you will) loves you and cherishes you with all of his heart and soul.

Your older self knows every time you were injured on a bicycle fall, an awkward social interaction that was embarrassing, or on the rare occasion that you did something naughty and were exposed and punished.

He/I was there with you, every single time you were harmed. He/I cried with you, including when you could not cry but wanted to. I wanted with my entire soul to scoop you up in to my comforting arms and help you feel love/warmth/& healing. It so grieved me that you could not feel it, when you needed that the most. Even so, I sent it to you, willingly.

You are loved no less for any of your youthful inadequacies or errors. All people create such moments of learning even as they try to avoid them. By the way, I often found them to be very cute & charming.

You have a sweet and very tender heart. This will sometimes give you feelings of deep grief, yet this will assist you in your quest to one day become an amazing, splendid, loyal, straight forward man of great depth, wisdom, love and beauty. A man highly favored of God.

You will not always understand why people will say or do some of the the hurtful, selfish, thoughtless things that they sometimes do. You must however bear them with the gladdest heart possible, because they are your unwitting teachers (and need those teachers)...We must learn in this life, all that we can.

Along that wise, you will become highly proficient at understanding individuals very quickly and what their motivations are. You will be able to quickly tell when someone is appropriate to take as a mentor for you in whatever areas they are worthy of emulation.

I ask you to seek to learn charity and compassion, and this will be to your great credit as your love of others will allow you great satisfactions. It will eventually afford you the ability to release great burdens of pain through forgiveness of others and then, eventually of yourself.

You will learn that you can always be perfect in at least some things, but that when you make a mistake, it really will be ok, at least in the long term scheme of God's universe. Do not be so hard on your self...You will often think your self inadequate, but that is the myth. Everyone has to deal with weakness; But with God weak things are made strong.

Please remember that while you may sometimes be disappointed in God or Jesus, that they only want to help you learn; Yet they will not always grant our prayers in the ways that you hope & desire. That is not a bad thing, as it will work out in many unexpected and wonderful blessings.

You will not always prefer how your clothing, hair, body, personality & how other things may work, but you will come to love and appreciate those things and many more; As you become a man. Many will cherish fondly those things and far more, over time, about you.

Remember too, that when you feel alone and that no one would understand you, there have been billions of sons and daughters of God, many of whom have gone through the same trials...They would understand; I now understand, and God our Father and Jesus fully understand and love as you are, today.

You may be embarrassed to hear that you are naked in front of them, but you are totally safe with their viewing you for they are the dearest of friends, not enemies...In time you will cherish that nakedness, as it were, though you can't currently understand other thansshame at the thought, now. This is often natural at this time in your life, too.

Should you accidentally have an erection in the locker room; that is something really hard to control when you are only 14 years. Don't worry about it. Any kids that dislike you for that, have some serious problems with bad family situations. You will come through alright, but some of those children will not.

You will have many mentors; Of whom Tim Cowell will be among the first. Look to what he does, the way he loves everyone around him, the way that he works hard, and the passion that he puts into his school work. However; He has gifts that will take many years for you to acquire. This is not bad, it just simply is.

Tim always admired your loyalty and willingness to simply listen to him speak of what was on his mind. He appreciated your being willing to be there for him at any time he needed.

You will have lovely children that love you with their entire, charming hearts and souls. They have souls that are redolent of the deep soul that you have. Many love your soul because they can tell that you love them and have the charity and purity of heart in their regard.

You will have many such blessings that many will not be fortunate enough to have; Tim is included with this as hard as that is to believe. Do not grieve for him but for a short time, for he lived his life well and with passion.

Look to older friends for they will have unconditional love for you and will give you insights beyond your years. They will be your closest allies.

These allies will often turn to God (also one of your best allies)in Prayer in your behalf...The time will soon come that you will be able to hear his speaking to your heart and you will derive great comfort from that. He is your very best friend, and this will help you through many stressful, anxious times even when you can't feel that you hear him there.

Again, You have no idea what a wonderful and good boy you are. You are a very unique spirit, and you are a light to many around you. The odd thing about that is that you are even now unable to see that, and think that this can't possibly refer to you...See, I told you so.

You are as the Sun to many; providing light in an often dark world, much as your mentors will be a sun for you at different times for different learning experiences.

Live well. You are learning a considerable amount about that in church, but be open to learn good things from many sources, as well...You will be very glad that you did.

Also, one final note, just because something seems to be so, it might not always be the case. Just ask God to help you to know the difference...You will figure things out very well, that way.

Younger Self, Remember that I love you, and I am with you always. All pain can make us strong, and there is joy in that.

Christ's atonement made all of that possible on an eternal scale. He would have suffered, even if only for you. He would have done all of it over again, for you...You matter that much to him. Never forget that.

I love you

Older Peter

P.S.Wear good sunscreen so you keep your youth. You're worth it.


  1. Great letter Peter. Putting the things that you always knew were there but could never quite access or understand onto paper makes them more real to you.

    I especially loved the part where you said that people create moments of learning, even as they try to avoid them. It is so true! I am reminded of that every day of my life!

  2. Just found your blog and wanted to let you know I appreciate the words you've written.