Sunday, another day away from church with my new ward

Hello All,

I didn't attend church, today, for the umpteenth Sunday since the week of December 18th when I moved into my new home, from my home with my then wife.

I learned during my 1st divorce, that even total strangers in church grieve when they learn that you are divorcing. I really don't need to deal with that at this point in time.

In addition, I don't want any said people trying to fix me up with a nice girl (3rd times the charm? More likely that the absolute opposite is the case according to the statistics). I've more people that want to set me up currently (much as when I was divorced the first time)

I have Same Sex Attraction, therefore another woman is not going to fix me. I've concluded that until something changes, it would be utterly unfair to get involved with another woman. BAD IDEA!

More importantly, I need to be able to continue to help raise my kids. They need Daddy far more than I need another wife. When you get married, that person needs to be number one in your life and obviously to me at least; My kids need to be number one.

I can get remarried in 16 years should I see fit to do so. However; I'll never to be able to turn back time to correct for my failures with my kids. No Success can compensate for failure in the home and so on and so forth.

After last weeks Matis Fireside, My friend Michael and I were discussing one of the women's words in regard to the Gay lifestyle not being a balanced or healthy lifestyle (I'm trying to remember the exact words).

She was stating that balanced, monogamous healthy relationships are extremely rare in the gay world. Well, she may not have noticed, but they are bloody rare too in the Heterosexual world, even with in the LDS faith. I mean; look at me, twice divorced now and both times sealed in the temple

I've always considered myself to an exceptionally easy person to live with and get along with, and I'm charming and loving to a fault and I'm spiritual and love God. Yet, here I am unable to fully satisfy apparently (I'm not talking about sexual adequacy as that was a very good part of those marriages, LOL).

So onward with those somewhat realistic words (from that good woman's paradigm/perspective); She was right, but she can also be utterly wrong and here is why:

Are we as LDS not taught that we are a strange and peculiar people? I always heard it growing up, but frankly I always thought it strange that many people around me in AZ., were getting lacquered on the weekends at the bars, etc.

Yet, the teetotolers are in reality the oddballs in the world...Same thing in Seoul, Korea when I lived there. We LDS truly are a peculiar people.

Now are gay people a bit strange? We don't seem to make up the majority of men (sorry but I'm gender specific so my blog is too). Perhaps we are.

Now then, if we as SSA men choose to follow the tenets of the LDS faith including the Word of Wisdom, aren't we being even more peculiar? Yes we are.

My point is this; Most dysfunctional relationships have contributing factors such as alcohol/drug usage among other risky behaviours. By abstaining from these and other risk factors; Do we not have a far greater likelihood of having a long term committed relationship? I should certainly think so.

As a gay LDS man, I am choosing to forego the creation of new vices in my life. This will help me as a man, to continue to progress as God desires all of his children to do. I am not perfect, but I can work to become perfect or least excellent in many areas of my life. I can be, and am happy, now.

I thank God daily for the many blessings that he does give me.

By the way, Should anyone want to fix me up with a beautiful man; I'm all for it, now. LOL

Good night

Pete